Marriage and Couples Counseling

Marriage counseling seattle

With marriage counseling and couples counseling what determines success is whether I can help you to understand that what you are mostly reacting to is what is in your emotional memory from your childhood or early adulthood past. Yes you are reacting to each other now but you are mostly reacting to your past. You think that you are reacting to your spouse/partner, that she did not consider you, disappointed you, angered you, or betrayed you. These all may be true but mixed in are the feelings from childhood that these things all happened and these feelings were never resolved…so now you have to do it in this adult relationship. See this article below by Sue Johnson where she identifies how when we get angry and reactive toward our partner we are doing so because we feel separate just as we did when we were children.

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200812/hold-me-tight

At my marriage counseling Seattle office the focus is not on helping you change specific issues. Once I help you learn to approach difficulties in a friendly manner where no one is right or wrong, you will be able to use any subject, any conflict to bring you closer together rather than drive you apart. I am sure you have noticed that when you disagree there is defensiveness, blame, criticism, anger, resentment and the focus is on being right and attempting to convert the other person to agree. And of course this never works…and it does not have to work.

In my couples counseling Seattle office, I will help you see that once you learn to not react and are able to listen, understand, care, and respond in a friendly manner toward your partner, you will create a closeness and bond that is filled with trust, confidence, and joy. You do not have to see things the same or even agree. All you have to do is care about each other and meet each other’s emotional needs and you will find that being right is not all it’s made out to be.

As the saying goes and I am paraphrasing, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?”

Christopher helped us in the very first session. For years when my husband went out with his buddies, even though I knew that he was not doing anything wrong, I would get really insecure and worry myself sick. Even if he called I could not stop worrying and being angry and resentful of him. Christopher just had Paul listen, care, and acknowledge my feelings and give me reassurance and guess what… most of my fear went away…once he understood me I was okay. Previously Paul reacted in a way that may my feelings bad or wrong…but now my feelings are okay but the behavior had to go and we are able to do that now.

 

Christopher Diggins saved my marriage. My husband had an affair and I thought it was over. Christopher told us in the first session that if we both wanted to repair this and did the work we could make our marriage greater and better than we ever thought possible…and he was right. We now have a marriage where there is such strong trust that neither of us doubts the faithfulness of the other. I KNOW in my heart that my husband could not cheat on me again…but of course we have to stay on top of things and keep working on it and Christopher has shown us how to do it.

For immediate help with a trained professional who can bring relief and healing to your life, please call 206.930.7780 or Email us at diggins.christopher@gmail.com and I will help you develop the necessary skills for enjoying a more gratifying and rewarding relationship.